All too often we find ourselves feeling anxious and overwhelmed at just the thought of engaging in the activities necessary to reach our goals and live out our dreams. If finding your way through life were easy, everyone would be doing it and you wouldn’t be reading this!
One of the biggest mistakes we make when trying to change our thinking patterns and alter our Negative Core Beliefs is thinking that simply changing the thoughts in our conscious mind will do the trick. Unfortunately, our subconscious mind has something to say about all that “power of positive thinking.”
When we try to focus on the positive, without addressing the underlying emotions we must contend with, our relief from those Negative Core Beliefs and Self-Defeating Thinking-Patterns is only temporary.
While we can train our minds and fashion our lives in a way that allows for healthy and productive thinking, we may never be fully cured of the negative emotions and the toxic thoughts that fuel them.
While those nasty aspects our emotional lives are never completely cast out into the void, the good news is that we can definitely grow stronger and overcome them with greater ease and awareness.
One way of looking at this is to consider someone looking to get into shape and training for a marathon. When they start, they may not even be able to run a mile, let alone five miles. And the thought of running 26.2 miles may seem like a complete impossibility all together. But over time, through persistent training, that person can run that first mile and then five miles and so on.
Since our thoughts fuel our emotions, it is essential we learn to manage them.
At some juncture, if they continue to train, our hypothetical runner will indeed be able to complete a marathon. Those first five miles are still there, and they must run them, but they are now stronger and more fit and doing so becomes easier and easier over time.
One of the biggest mistakes we make when trying to change our thinking patterns and alter our Negative Core Beliefs is thinking that simply changing the thoughts in our conscious mind will do the trick. Unfortunately, our subconscious mind has something to say about all that “power of positive thinking.”
This is holds true for our Negative Core Beliefs as well. There is no magic snap of the fingers that will totally remove them, but we grow stronger and are better able to manage and move past them. We raise our emotional intelligence and approach the same problems with a greater expertise and sense of worth.
So how do we train ourselves to raise our emotional intelligence and grow stronger? How do we come to a point in our lives where dealing with our Negative Core Beliefs and those thoughts about “not being good enough” are not nearly as influential as they once were?
There are a number of approaches to addressing our deeply-held negative beliefs and any persistent combination of strategies will certainly allow you to move toward growth and stability in your emotional life.
The most important thing we anyone can do for themselves is to resolve to make lasting, meaningful change and stick to it.
Over the course of weeks and months, you will slowly begin to see that those challenges that made you not want to get out bed will be but minor bumps in the road on your path to living as your authentic self.
But in case you are unsure which way to turn or where to begin, here are 5 Approaches to Managing Negative Thoughts:
Forgive Yourself
All too often we focus on past failures and issues that we can do little about in the present. When we forgive ourselves for those failings and resign ourselves to move forward, we free up much need emotional energy to face the task at hand.
Forgiveness is the foundation for healing and when we actually heal those hardships and missteps from the past, we can move forward and focus on the now. No amount of hindsight will provide you with the tools and energy needed to meet the goals you have set for yourself. Forgive yourself, so you can get busy making progress now!
My adopting Positive Core Beliefs, we may better manage our emotions.
Question Your Negative Thinking
One of the most straightforward approaches I take when I find myself stuck on a Negative Core Belief is to ask myself “How is focusing on this going to help me achieve success?”
When we question the rationale of negative thoughts by challenging how they will make our lives better, we can begin to see that all that emotional energy is wasted. Questioning our negative thinking is a clear-cut way of identifying what is beneficial to our progress and what is holding us back.
Whenever you find yourself focusing on the past or bogged down by negative thinking, question that thinking and so that you can continue to move forward.
Identify the Progress You Have Made
A great strategy for putting things in perspective is to take a moment and list all the progress you have been able to accomplish up to that point. When we engage in perfectionist, all-or-nothing thinking, we arrive at the sad conclusion that nothing short of perfection is good enough.
When we take a few moments to write down all the progress we have made, we can actually see how far we have come. Identifying our progress is a great technique to build momentum and stay on track.
Make a List
When we write down what we need to do for ourselves to achieve our goals and make progress on our current endeavors, we may come away thinking that we have a lot of work to do. While it may seem daunting at first, as you begin to make progress and move items to the completed column, you can begin to quantify the successful path you are on.
Nothing motivates me like the satisfaction I get when I scratch another item off my list. This is also a great way to keep you focused on the future and what you need to do, rather than getting stuck thinking about the past.
Write in Journal
Journaling is a powerful tool that allows to emotional unload and move on. If you have trouble getting around your Negative Core Beliefs—thinking that you will fail or are not good enough—writing down those emotions and thoughts in a journal, getting them out of your system, and moving forward with your life.
This is wonderful strategy that allows you to be aware of the negative thinking and, at the same time, work on moving forward. An additional bonus to journaling is that it creates a lasting record of your emotional life and provides perspective on the improvement you are making.
It is when we face our demons and—that greatest demon of all—fear, we become braver, stronger, and more inclined to keep pushing ourselves forward.
When my clients take part in the MaxxMethod program, I show them how we take our ideas, hopes, and desires and take action towards making them a reality. Some of the simple practices we can undertake to get us to Do It Now! include:
